summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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