Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
