also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
