haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
