i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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