this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There r osticjed everywhere
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
