so explain again why im purple
no
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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