An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize