Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my shit smells like andre
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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