i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
