We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
