If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
