..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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