I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
