I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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