they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
