Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
