If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
