Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
