HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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