Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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