she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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