so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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