thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
