They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
