susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
