Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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