He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
