It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
