She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
