i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
