he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
