I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
