i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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