Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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