After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
tell me about the fingering
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