I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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