brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.