its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..