just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
