I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?