I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
