On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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