The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
