I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
