At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you never un-have a 4some
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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