I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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