Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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