Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
last night I used snow as a chaser
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
