Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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