this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
