take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
