before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
