Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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