Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
