If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
