I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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