If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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