im about as happy as oj after his trial
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
