You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
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Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
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