I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
