your room smells of hookers.
And success
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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